Perfect Timing

So, after my pity party yesterday about the unfairness of God's timing for blessing me with my soulmate, I go to church today, and am reminded of God's perfect timing in this hymn that we sang at the end of the service.  What a wonderful reminder from God that brings me to my knees, and helps me to acknowledge that it is not about me, or what I want, but that God has ordained a plan for my life, and has my days numbered out, and that he will reveal his perfect plan, in his timing.  it's all about You, Jesus




Jesus, lover of my soul

all consuming fire is in Your gaze

Jesus, I want you to know

I will follow you all my days

for no one else in history is like you

and history itself belongs to you

Alpha and Omega, You have loved me

and I will share eternity with You



it's all about You, Jesus

and all this is for You

for Your glory and your fame

it's not about me

as if You should do things my way

You alone are God

and I surrender to your ways!

Pity Party

Ever have one of those days when you feel sorry for yourself, and want to wallow in your self pity all day long.  Well,  that's me, today.  I'm having one of those days when I have cried all day long because I am so unhappy with the way my life is turning out.  Which, in reality, seems so selfish and untrue, because I have a great life.  But, I tend to focus on the things I'm lacking...most importantly, love, and a family of my own.

I get so frustrated sometimes.  I don't understand why God hasn't blessed me with someone yet.  Why can't I find the happiness I deserve?  I know we aren't supposed to question God, but I do.

 It's not often that I get like this.  I have a lot of good days, days where I am content because I have made a great life for myself.  I truly have.  I would have never imagined that I would be the confident woman that I am today, the one who moved by herself, away from everything Ive ever known, to pursue a better life for myself.  And, I successfully did that.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful job, and am so fortunate to have the lifestyle that I have, but it doesn't fulfill me.  It doesn't make me complete.  I'm missing something.   I sit home some weekends, and drown myself in my sorrows because it's so frustrating.  All of my best friends are happily married, and I am so truly happy for them, but I am so jealous.  And, I know I'm not supposed to be, and that that is not a becoming characteristic, but it's true, and I can't help it.

I just want to know when it will be my time.  When will I get my happy ending?