Oh Baby....

I have the weirdest dreams...like, I will wake up in the morning, and sometimes question my sanity in my sleep. However, on Thursday night, I had a dream that physically made me cry, wake up in sweat, and fear that it was NOT true.

No, it wasn't me that was pregnant in my dream. I could handle that, and most that know me well enough, know that I secretly with for a baby now, even though I'm not married, or even in a relationship.

My 48 year old mother was pregnant in my dream, and she was freakin thrilled, excited, overjoyed, apparently looking forward to being a 49 year old mother, already with a 28 year old daughter and a 26 year old son.

In my dream, I was horrified, disgusted, and terribly sad. I cried for days, laying in my bed, doing nothing, while my 48 year old mother was out shopping for baby clothes.

EWW GROSS. I told my mom about this dream (or nightmare). She thought it was pretty funny, and pretty much considered it a nightmare as well.

The Celebration of My Last Two Single Best Friend's Wedding!

Here Comes The Brides!

It's official...I have NO more single best friends, as my last two single best friends, Brittainy and Robin were married on August 1st and August 8th. As I now feel like the girl in 27 dresses, and bridesmaid dresses ONCE AGAIN fill my closet, I've decided that if I were to meet any new female friends, they must be married before we become good friends! Don't get me wrong, because I'm so blessed to have a handful of best friends, and I'm so grateful for being a part of their special day, but I truly feel like a professional bridesmaid. And, I am definitely feeling like the phrase "Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride" describes me perfectly! :)


August 8th was my KD sister, and college roommate, Robin's wedding. It was ABOUT time, as she had been dating Jason for like 6 years. Robin and Jason's wedding was in Columbia, and it was beautiful, and SO MUCH fun. We had a mini-college reunion with some of my best friends from college, and it was a blast! Robin was a beautiful bride, and her wedding ceremony was so sweet!

Gilby, Me, Biggie, Jamie and AK!

Mr. and Mrs. Lotsey


Jamie and I

Gilby, Lil Dave, Me, and Jamie

Brittainy and Trey's wedding was beautiful. She was a stunning bride, and I found myself a little teary eyed as she was walking down the aisle, because she is my absolute "BESTEST" friend, and I am so happy that she found a wonderful man like Trey. And, I can't forget to mention that a 17 yr old girl I used to babysit caught the bouquet that was MEANT for me to catch! :)

The Beautiful Bride

Mr. and Mrs. Starling

Trey and Britt

Krissy, Brittainy and Me!

So, now, all my friends are married, and I'm looking forward to not having a closet full of bridesmaid dresses, cause I'm selling them on EBAY, but I'm so thankful to have such wonderful best friends, and that I was able to be a part of their special day!

God's plan for my love life!

Everyone wants to give themselves completely to someone--to have a deep, good relationship with another--to be loved thoroughly, excusively. But God, to a Christian says:

No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone- with giving yourself totally and unreservedely to me alone- to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of all other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-and that you can't imagine. I want you to have the best-please allow me to bring it to you. You keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experienceing the satisifaction that I am. Be patient, that is all.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at the things you want, just keeping looking off and away, up to me, or you will miss what I have planned for you. And, then, when you least expect it, I'll surprise you with a love for more wonderful than anything else you have dreamed of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have picked out for you is ready, until you are both satisfied with me, and the life that I want you to have, you will not be able to expericene the love that exemplifies a relationship with me--A PERFECT LOVE!
And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer. KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU UTTERLY. I AM GOD! Be still, believe and be satisified!

Not Gonna Settle....

"Fifteen minutes left to throw me together
For Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Forever
Don't know why I even try when I know how it ends
Lookin' like another, "Maybe we can be friends."
I've been leaving it up to fate
It's my life so it's mine to make
I ain't settlin'
For just getting by
I've had enough so-so
For the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low
So raise the bar high"
Just enough," ain't enough this time
I ain't settlin' for anything less than everything
With some good red wine
And my brand new shoes
Gonna dance a blue streak around my living room
Take a chance on love, and try how it feels
With my heart wide open
Yeah, you know I will
Find what it means to be the girl
Who changed her mind
And changed the world
I ain't settlin'
For just getting by
I've had enough so-soFor the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low
So raise the bar high"
Just enough," ain't enough this time
I ain't settlin'
For just getting by
I've had enough so-so
For the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low
So raise the bar high
I ain't settlin'
No, no, no, no, no, no
So raise the bar high, high...."

My momma has always told me not to settle, in any aspect of my life, for ANYTHING less than what I deserve. As I look back over the last few years, in relationships, in my career, in my daily life, I feel like I have been "settling" for what I thought I could have. It's like I find something that I think I want, and I hold on to it, not letting go, for the fear of not finding something better. When, all the while, I know that I deserve better. And, I know that eventually, that "something better" will come my way. I feel like I've spent the last few years "settling," keeping things and people close by, kind of like my safe haven, while, all the while, I'm looking the whole time for something better to come my way. I guess I'm just realizing now that I deserve better, and that's what I'm out to find!!

My Big Mouth Family

I went home this past weekend, and had a weekend of nothing but family time. We had a shower for my Jason and Kari, and I've since decided that I need to get married, have a baby, or move, because they got lots of presents, and I was jealous!
But anyways, it was a lovely time with the family. I spent the weekend at my Granny's, and I haven't stayed there much in my teenage/adult years, so it brought back lots of memories. Especially when she called me the day before I got there to tell me she had bought me some snacks. Two things came to my mind: 1, I don't snack really and 2, I'm sure my Granny doesn't really know what sweet stuff I like to eat, some I'm pretty sure it Debbie cakes or something icky like that...
But, much to my surprise, it was Krispy Kreme donuts, which was wonderful. Good going, Gran!
In the midst of my family time, I've discovered that my family is very open and honest, and says whatever comes to mind, and it makes me laugh, so I figured I would share some conversations.

***Garrett, my 8 year old cousin, who had just "caught" a new pet turtle (#3) at my Granny's pond.
G: I named the turtle Anna.
Me: I thought the name was Tuck.
G: Well, it was, but it's a girl, so I had to change it.
Me: Garrett, how do you know that it's a girl.
G: Duh, I looked up under the turtle, and trust me, it's a girl!

Seriously???

***My 70 something year old church going Granny.
When asked at the shower if there was a strong man in the room, and her son was the only man around says, "Well, he's a man, but you better look elsewhere for the strong part."

When telling a story about someone who was talking about weight loss failures, my Granny says, "And, let me tell you, when I hugged her, she had fat rolls all around her middle."

When someone at church on Sunday asked where the rest of my family was, my church going Granny replies "They are all hungover."
Please know that she didn't mean this literally...I don't think that the person she was talking to knew that.

Family...gotta love them!!!

"There is a reason that windshields are much larger than rearview mirrors. That reason being: It is much more important to look ahead, than to look at things that are behind you." I heard this in a sermon one Sunday, and I cannot seem to get it off my mind. I think that God is using this to teach me something about his plan for my life, You see, I know HE has a plan, one that is FAR BIGGER AND GREATER than anything I can imagine. But yet, I constantly focus on things of the past...mistakes I've made, people I've hurt, things I've done, things I should've done, etc. I look back over my life in the past year and I see a dramatic change in myself. I truly do. I have grown so much over the past year, but yet, I still have so much more growing to do. I look at some of the things I have accomplished, and I can't fathom that these are things that I accomplished. But of course, I couldn't have done any of it without God. I want to whole heartedly seek God's will in everything I do for the next year. I want to be changed for the better. I want to make a difference. I'm tired of holding on to the past. I want to let go, and LET GOD! Of course, this is much easier said than done. This is where I struggle...letting go. It's so hard! But, I know HE is in control, and I know that he is saying "Be patient, my child. Wait on what I have planned for you." And, that is exactly what I plan to do this year. So, anyways, that's my blogging for the night! Just needed to write my thoughts down!

27 and Single....

Lately, I've discovered that the world, or shall I say my world, thinks the fact that I'm 27 and not married (or no potential to be married any time soon), is completely taboo, and unheard of.
I'll be honest in stating that I want more than anything to be married, SOON, and start having a family, because I know that God created me with the purpose of being a wife and mother one day. But, again, in being honest, when you work 10-12 hour days, and then come home to start again the next day, there's not much chances to "meet someone." I know that my God already has someone picked out, and will reveal that to me and him, in his timing. And, most days, being "27 and single" doesn't bother me. All my friends are married, and I'm so happy for them. Yes, I want what they have! And, there are days when I feel like I'm the last single girl, but for the most part, I'm happy with my life. I've done really well for myself (not bragging at all, just stating the facts), and have a good career, and a good life that I love. Of course, I would love to have someone to come home to at night, other than my sweet Bentlee pup, but I'm a firm believer of God's timing, and it just isn't right now.

So, I get frustrated when people "aww" and feel sorry for me when they hear that "no, I'm not married, nor do I have a boyfriend." Well, big freakin deal. I'm happy...most days! So, don't look at me as a charity case. Recently, someone very close to me told me that I would never get married, because my expectations are simply too high. That hurt me! And, I couldn't disagree more. I have high expectations for a reason, and that's because I've settled before, and am not willing to do it again. Is my "perfect man" perfect? Well, no, absolutely not! No one is...but, there are certain qualifications that he needs to meet, and there are some things that I will not compromise on, and don't feel I should have to. So, for someone to say that my chances of getting married based on what I look for is pretty slim is wacked up!

....Because, I know that I will get married. And, I know that my God has purposely planned the road he wants me to take, and who he wants me to take it with. And, he's gonna bless me with a wonderful mate one day. And, until then, I'll keep praying for the day to come!

Well, unfortunately, I'm a busy girl, so I don't have time to blog much lately.

I had my wisdom teeth cut out on Thursday. I had prepared myself for excruiating pain, like my entire body was being chopped too pieces. And, so then, when it was over, I cried, but not because I was hurting, but because I'm a cry baby, and emotional, and felt like crying. Then, got home, slept all day, and hardly no pain. Woke up Friday, only a little pain. Saturday, I gave up on the soft food, and ate Chick-fil-a nuggets, and regretted it, because it hurt like crazy.
But, the whole experience was much better than I had prepared myself for, but as my momma always says, I always prepare for the worse, and overreact! But, that's just my way of doing things.

I found a new car. An 09 Nissan Altima...fully loaded, super white! Loved, loved, loved it, just not the price. So, I'm DEBATING about it. And, the car salesman is calling me EVERYDAY!

It's sooo pretty...but I don't want a car payment!

Was I pregnant???

So, this is my funny work story of the day.

Here's a conversation I had with a female patient today.


Patient: "Uh. yeah, I'm calling cuz you sent my account to collections, and i ain't never got a bill."

Me: "Ma'am, I can check on that for you. What's your name?"

**Patient gives name and date of birth.

Me: "Well, Ms. ****, I see where we have talked to you several times about this bill. And, it was sent to ***address***. Is that the correct mailing address?"

Patient: "Yes...well, what did I come for that day anyway. I don't remember coming to Upstate in June"

****Patient is told what she came in for.****

Patient: "Why are the charges so high? This is crazy. What did they do?"

***I name some of the tests performed.***

Patient: "A pregnancy test....why did they do a pregnancy test?"

Me: "Ma'am, it's a standard requirement."

Patient: "Well, what was the results? Was I pregnant?"

Me: (Trying to contain my hysterical giggles) "Well, Ms. *****, I don't know if you were pregnant. You would know the answer to that. Do you have a baby???"

Patient: "Oh yeah...alright, well I ain't gonna pay this bill."

**End of convo!***

I LOVE MY JOB!!!

I am.....

7 lbs lighter since Jan 1, 2009! YAY!!!!!!!!!!

*i am missing home
*i want love.....
*i have a wonderful family and amazing friends!
*i miss seeing my family everyday
*i fear being alone....
*i hear Bentlee whining to go out
*i search for ways to make myself better
*i wonder why God's timing is not my own....
*i regret nothing...I've learned from all my mistakes
*i love my family and friends
*i forgive not so easily
*i ache because I have Restless Legs syndrome
*i always put others first
*i try to be more patient.
*i seem to let people walk all over me
*i know I am blessed!
*i feel tired
*i dance NEVER
*i dream of lots of things...
*i give to others....
*i listen to all kinds of music.
*i sing all the time!
*i laugh a lot…
*i can't go to sleep without my nightie!!
*i write alot...it's my passion
*i cry all the time...for no reason at all!
*i sleep all day long on Saturdays
*i am excited to see what God has planned for me in 2009
*i see things pretty clearly....
*i need to lose weight
*i should go do laundry...

These are a few of my favorite things...

....Jesus, My wonderful family, Bentlee, my boys Zach and Garrett, shopping, singing, really cute shoes, pocketbooks, jewelry, Target, Sonic Sweet Tea, chicken tenders, my rainbow flip flops, my house, palm trees, Kappa Delta, my sisters, my BFF's, scrapbooking, margaritas, a good glass of wine, Mexican food, Costa Rica, little children, old people, laughing, my new pearl ring, Sugarland, going home, Febreeze, candles, the colors pink and brown, or the colors blue and brown, the beach, traveling, reading, the rain (but not what it does to my hair), red candy, diet cherry cokes, taking pictures, Girls Days, Lifetime, chick flicks, Grey's Anatomy, Friends, Desperate Housewives, any reality TV show, writing, babies, my grandparents, Facebook.........