Pity Party

Ever have one of those days when you feel sorry for yourself, and want to wallow in your self pity all day long.  Well,  that's me, today.  I'm having one of those days when I have cried all day long because I am so unhappy with the way my life is turning out.  Which, in reality, seems so selfish and untrue, because I have a great life.  But, I tend to focus on the things I'm lacking...most importantly, love, and a family of my own.

I get so frustrated sometimes.  I don't understand why God hasn't blessed me with someone yet.  Why can't I find the happiness I deserve?  I know we aren't supposed to question God, but I do.

 It's not often that I get like this.  I have a lot of good days, days where I am content because I have made a great life for myself.  I truly have.  I would have never imagined that I would be the confident woman that I am today, the one who moved by herself, away from everything Ive ever known, to pursue a better life for myself.  And, I successfully did that.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful job, and am so fortunate to have the lifestyle that I have, but it doesn't fulfill me.  It doesn't make me complete.  I'm missing something.   I sit home some weekends, and drown myself in my sorrows because it's so frustrating.  All of my best friends are happily married, and I am so truly happy for them, but I am so jealous.  And, I know I'm not supposed to be, and that that is not a becoming characteristic, but it's true, and I can't help it.

I just want to know when it will be my time.  When will I get my happy ending?