Void...

Have you ever lost someone that you love?  If you have, then I can imagine that you know what I go through on a daily basis.  Still dealing with grief, denial, anger, and all of these emotions rolled into one. It amazes me that now, 6 months, and 10 days later, I still sometimes believe that my daddy is not dead.  Call it denial, call it crazy, call it whatever you want, but there are times, special moments in the day, when I cannot believe that my father is dead.  An example of this happened today after church. We went out to eat as normal, and I found myself wanting to tell Granny that she needed to get a to-go plate for daddy.  I literally had to catch myself before saying that, for the sake of looking completely insane, because we all know that my daddy is dead.  Or, when I see his truck driving down the road.  Yes, I know that we sold it, and I know it's some other man driving it, but part of me still feels like it's my daddy. 
I still miss him so much.  Time doesn't heal wounds, I can promise you that.   I still hurt everyday.  I still miss him just as much as I did the moment I heard that he was dead.  I still cringe at the fact that I know I won't see him on this earth again, that he wont walk me down the aisle, or see my children.  It still breaks my heart everyday.  You never heal...you just learn to continue living, and that remains a daily struggle for me.